Voices In My Head
I've spent hours and hours thinking about life recently.
As I continue to build BWHealth (and our Lasso products), I've learned it's hard to know the impact of your daily actions until months to years down the line. When you are forced to operate in a near vacuum, it really tests your faith and patience.
That voice in your head pops up with question after question:
Is this what I should be working on today? What if this doesn't work? Am I wasting my time? Will I let everyone down? Did I fuck this whole thing up months ago and I just haven't realized it yet?
It's a daily struggle to overcome this voice. It's constantly pushing me and I'm always pushing back. No matter how hard it pushes, I've pushed harder. And I'll die before I give up my winning record against this voice.
At the end of the day, I'm starting to learn something about that voice. Whether you listen to the voice or not, that's what determines what kind of person you'll become. Will you give in when things get tough and there's doubt, or will you push through because you believe in something?
As I look around and look forward, I'm starting to see that what has made me unique is my ability to ignore what everyone else around me have thought about me. People have asked me so many questions about building a business:
What did other people say? Wasn't it hard to overcome the doubt? Did you feel like an outcast?
To be completely honest, I haven't thought about what anyone else in the world thought about me in so long. I think that's come to be one of my greatest strengths as an individual.
However, I didn't get to that place because I became incredibly wise and realized other people's opinions didn't affect me. Instead it's because the voice in my head was so much louder than anyone else's.
Out of something negative, doubt, fear, whatever you want to call it, came a very positive thing that I believe has led to much of my personal success.
I meet so many old heads who are shocked at some of the things I have to say, what I decide to wear to speaking engagements, how I act at different events. The looks and judgment would have bothered me 5 years ago, but these days I can't hear it at all. I only hear the voice in my head saying over and over, don't dress like that, it won't be cool, don't talk like that, you'll offend people.
I'm out to kill that voice. I won't ever listen to it because that's the voice that's trying to make me fit in. That's the voice that's scared. That's the voice that's conservative. That's the voice that's told me not to speak out on certain things because it would lead to conflict.
So when you see me being myself and being proud of it, it's not because I cared what society thought of me and overcame it. That's just not my story. It's that the voice in my head that doubts me makes me so angry that I'm going to do whatever it takes to prove it wrong, to prove that part of my brain wrong.
Because my greatness is real, it's here to stay, and it's only going to get bigger. I know that.
Now I just need to convince that stupid voice.